Shampoo or not?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
That's the question.
Rayner boy says that he has no foam on his head when he shampoos. So he is very keen to know if he should even use shampoo a not.
I don't get his point. I get foam even when I shampoo my legs. Rayner boy asked me to shampoo my armpits and the foam will neverend. Bastard.
So yes, please do leave down your opinions: SHAMPOO OR NOT, in his tagboard or his friendster. Rayner needs help, even though he is away in camp.
Please lend a helping hand to this mentally disabled kid.
Thank you. Your generosity is greatly appreciated. =D
Love,
Clown.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:02 PM
SAVE YOU!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I really wanna blog. But I am so busy. School has reopened, and I am so so busy. I'm busier than the bumble bee.
Till then, I WILL SURE BE BACK.
RAYNER DID A STUPID SAD ENTRY. I WANNA SAVE THIS WORLD FROM MISERY.
WAIT FOR ME,
CLOWN.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 8:23 PM
SIAHLAH
Monday, June 25, 2007
REI SAID HE MISSED RAYNER AND HE THINKS RAYNER IS NICE AND CUTE!
RAYNER SAID HE LOVES REI MORE THAN HE LOVES JAMIE!
RAYNER SAYS HE WANNA MEET REI SOON!
REI ALSO SAID SO!
JAMIE CAN JUST GO AND DIE TOGETHER WITH STEPHY.
LOVE,
CLOWN.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:05 PM
It's so different all together
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Things have changed. It's no longer the same anymore as much as we hate it to happen. We all have to move on don't we? Most yes but some no. It's inevitable. I really really do miss you alot at times man. It's just that no matter how I put it to you it just never seemed sincere enough to let you know that I really miss you. I always liked having you around me because I simply lose track of time when we're together. Like they say absence make the hearts fonder, how true! So many people and so little time. If only everyone means of communicating are universal that would defintely ease things up. Okay this entry seemed somewhat sad but no worries, the clown will be back to entertain while I'm away again.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 3:47 PM
Yay back!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Yay my first book out! All is fine really and sad thing to say I have to book in tomorrow night. I dreamt of 3 people when I was in camp. My dad, Zihui and Stephanie. I don't know why but I dreamt that my dad died in my dream, fuck. Then zihui was riding a pink little vespa (scooter) and it so damn well suit her. As for stephanie, I really can't remember what the dream was about. Maybe she being rolled over by a tank and became prettier or something (Can't remember). So yeah, 8 days or so just flew by like that. Ok not flew la it's like counting down and boom finally we're out!
And really it's so true when they say you meet all sorts of people in camp. Ha!
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 2:37 PM
Rayner's future wife
Friday, June 22, 2007
RAYNER IS COMING HOME (:
oh yeah, i realised something when I viewed his friendster today. I realised that he uploaded a picture of his future wife.
I promise that it wasnt me. Okay, I cant swear so I promised okay, but believe me, it wasn't me!
Though I somehow hacked his blog account, I have never tried ( never mind the fact I had no time) to hack his friendster account.
BUT THAT PICTURE.
Gave me fright.
His wife looks
__________________________
( Fill in the blanks with whatever words that appear in your mind )
What's that word? Share it with us in the tagboard situated on the left of the blog.
All tags are welcome :)
- STEPHIE WITH ♥
Labels: guest apperance
posted by Stephanie who killed a lamb again at 11:19 PM
=) I love Rayner boy.
Pator la. Forget me la. Dont want reply la. Busy la. Enjoying la. My name is Rayner la. Your kindergarten mate la. Be safe la. Dont die la. Bye la.This is why I love Rayner boy so much.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:19 AM
Fart Detector
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
HI AGAIN EVERYONE,
Today has been the most exciting day so far.
We were told to remove our armpit hair. Serious! Now, I've never noticed that armyboys were armpithairless. I ought to be more observant in future.
We were given a choice of whether to shave, pluck, or cut our armpit hair. Jamie was screaming at me to shave because she said it's the least painful way. I don't know about girls, but for guys, it's QUITE PAINFUL.
We gymed today and the seniors even came and compared our arms! Tsk. I'm like literally sunburnt (upper body). While my friends got sunburnt on their heads!
Another interesting thing that we did today, we were working on a new invention in the laboratory! Let me leak something out to you. We're currently working on a new chemical that is able to detect any poisonous gases (ex. FARTS).
In the 21st and 22nd century, people might be even high-tech to the extent that they induce poisonous killer gases in their body. The gases will be stored in their rectum, and till the suicide bomber gets onto a crowded MRT train, then he will let off his poisonous gas. Now, the only downside of this poisonous gas, is that you need to fill your whole body with the gas first (FULL TANK). Despite it being at full tank, this gas will actually leak as you are walking. So it will kill other commuters or passerbys along the way. What a scary world this is.
So before this GAS suicide bomber even comes about, we have to first invent a chemical that detects farts. Simple as it sounds, but trust me, the lab work is driving me nuts. Imagine being cooped in a fart filled lab for the entire day, differentiating different kinds of farts. I mean, we've gotta know the farts well, so as to produce a chemical to counter it.
Now, this chemical like thing works like limewater. COOL. BUT, it is in the form of a gas, not limewater.
Anyway I'll keep you guys updated. The idea is actually quite interesting. Like you fart, and then a purple cloud of smoke appears behind you. Your fart might be soundless, but it is definitely fatal and COLOURFUL.
AIYA! Sir telling me to smell a cabbage fart and he is scolding me for feeding my bunkmate kailan instead of cabbage.
Ain't exactly my fault la, I was too interested in blogging.
RAYNER.
PS: TWO MORE DAYS.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:18 PM
childhood memories
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
OKAY. I'M SO ANGRY BECAUSE THERE IS NO MORE HOT WATER IN THE HOT WATER POT. AND I AM EVEN MORE ANGRY BECAUSE I CAN'T COOK MY MAGGI MEE! I'M GOING TO JUST DIE OF HUNGER, NOW!
-----------------------------------------------------
Hi everybody,
Today's a really really really tiring day. I didn't wanna blog yesterday because Jamie girl made me so so angry. I was so angry that I could swallow ten sirs and chew 10 sergeants. But ah hahahaha! It was my fault! So I apologise to Jamie girl 10 million times. (Jamie girl: NO, RAYNER DIDN'T APOLOGISE, I DID.)
Anyway, let me tell you more about today.
Today we learnt how to wash the toilets. Tsk, I've been applying for maid permit. No, not me as the maid. But, I've applied to ask for my parents to bring in a maid for me. Let's hope it gets approved then I need not wash my own clothes, nor wash the toilets, nor sweep the floor, NOR WIPE the floor.
You think it's easy to WIPE the floor? Heyhey, I'm not talking about MOPPING the floor. Mop floor so easy, Mark Lee also know. But we're talking about WIPING the floor here. Wiping as in, like Cinderella you know, take a dirty piece of cloth and kneel on the floor wiping each and every tile singing 'Hihohiho'. Yes, that is the seven dwarves song. CINDERELLA CANNOT SING THEIR SONG MEH!? Which bloody law states so?! Then tell me why the Prince from Sleeping Beauty can go and save Rapanzel? I doubt you know the answer either right?
Hmmm, maybe my childhood friend knows the answer. She's always in her 'land' of her own. She can concoct 127 fairy tales, yet each and every prince/princess is different from each other. Her latest fairy tale revolves around Nicholas Tse, Edison Chen and Dior (made-up character).
I'd better not start any stories about this childhood friend. If I start, I'd probably go on and on relating each and every single story of hers. She's damn cheong hei (long winded) and she'd always go on and on to prove herself right. No choice la, this kinda bitch, whatever she say, just let her win lor.
This brings me back memories of my childhood.
I used to be a real tyrant when I was a little boy. When I was around 2 odd 3, I started schooling at Little World Childcare Centre. This Childcare Centre was located in the wee corner of Moubatten Lane. Little World Childcare Centre was opened by Mdm Koh. Mdm Koh is better known as the mother of Ericia Lee. I swear Ericia's boobs weren't that big when I was schooling there.
The uniform I wore happens to be REALLY REALLY cute. The boys were dorned in blue shorts with a white t shirt that has a huge rainbow at the back. The girls wore a red dress that has a rainbow at the right breast.
Okay, I refuse to leak out so much because I wanna make this a sequel. A sequel of my childhood series.
Good night world.
RAYNER.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: NOT RAYNER'S POINT OF VIEW.
The truth is, I only have vivid memories and clear knowledge of Rayner's childhood, nothing else. I can't blog about his current life as I know lil of it. Thus, I have to seperate into many sequels. If I were to blog all of it in one day, I'd be left with nothing to blog with till Rayner boy's back.
Yours truly,
CLOWN a.k.a Rayner's future wife to be a.k.a SEAN'S STALKER.
P.S Oh, I spotted Sean flirting with our neighbour! Malay mina-ish girl with a short bob and has legs as skinny as KateMoss, yet, having the face of Kumar. How pretty is that.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:12 PM
from steph once more
Seriously speaking, I feel so sick. Literally sick, not sick of life, sick of whatever nots. I'm quitting my job soon and starting school. For that, I feel alien again in a whole new environment.
OK, why am I blogging here as if it's my blog? Here's something to share ( and i think everyone would have already knew) :
Rayner said he'll be back on the 23rd to create chaos again, so rejoice everybody!
Labels: guest apperance
posted by Stephanie who killed a lamb again at 11:59 AM
Cannot blog, because Rayner's angry.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Eh.
Rayner boy is angry with me.
HAHAHAHAHHAA.
I feel so bad.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
All Sean's fault.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:29 PM
Sunday, June 17, 2007
I finally gave up blogging in Rayner's shoes!
Tiring to like blog as Rayner lah! I don't even know WHAT happens in the army. So all these while I've been trying to fake some shit.
Maybe one day when I get possessed by Rayner, I will start blogging in army mind again.
But if I don't blog like Rayner, then life gets so boring. =(
ZNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!
-----------------------------------------------
Hi everybody.
Today, I learnt how to sweep the floor. I personally feel that it's really TOUGH SHIT. No joke, TOUGH SHIT.
I got really bored and I tried Sms-ing Jamie. Now, Jamie was on her way home from work. So the sms session went something like that.
(attention: this is TOTALLY fictional, IT definitely did not happen)
Jamie: Eh, I can't talk to you on the phone now because my batt is like flat.
Rayner: Ok, nvm, try and run home. Lights out soon.
Jamie: Yuh! I wanna run but I can't! I'm stuck like in the train under the armpits of the ah nehs! Anyway why would those people want you all to sleep so early? They think you all lil kids ah? Not enough sleep will faint tomorrow ah? So stupid.
Rayner: Hey, these Ah nehs are valuable k. Without them blocking the sunlighht for you, there probably won't be night lor!
Jamie: Why you link two different topics together!
Rayner: Comes together in a package as one SMS MAH!
(attention: I repeat, this is TOTALLY fictional, IT REALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN)
But anyway Jamie was really stuck on the train. So can only sms her. But whatever, I don't wanna sms her anymore. She takes donkey years to reply.
Anyway, talking about donkeys. I used to call her dOnkiEh. And she used to call me mOnkiEh. To be exact, she was called jAmiE DoNkiEh GirL. And I was being called RAynEr MoNkiEh. Why the typing? Because Jamie girl used to type like a big time Ah Lian (maybe because she was one) during our iRc days. It's weird how we lost contact after kindergarten and met each other again during Mavis. And it's weird HOW SHE RECOGNISES ME. Oh, or did I recognise her? No idea, gotta check with her when I'm outta the army.
I can still remember our kindergarten days.
OKAY! I should save this topic for tomorrow. Or else soon I have nothing to blog about already.
Sir calling me to sleep! HAIYA! Army damn anal. I can't differentiate Sir and Sergeant, always call wrong. Then tio la.
RAYNER BOY
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:12 PM
=( 2nd day at camp.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Mannnn, twas a totally boring day today.
We learnt how to throw granites.
I wish I could throw the granites over to Nathan's house.
Once I've accomplished that, I'll be home to enjoy mum's homecooked food.
Also, I miss Sean.
Sean bathed without closing the toilet door today. Shameful. I thought he'd still practise some self-respect even when I ain't home to teach him the right stuff.
Lil bro, you'd better not touch my stuff or sleep on my bed okay! I'm watching over you!
RAYNER BOY.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:38 PM
I'm sucha handsome dude with too much hair on my head.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Holy. So all my mates had their hair shaved off. Poor lil things. I insisted on having my hair kept on my head for personal reasons.
My hair can act as a protective shield against enemies. Crazy idea right? Let's look at it this way. If I had headlice (HUGE ONES) living in my dense forest of hair, the enemies would retreat upon knowing that I'd spread the headlice to them. You'd never know when headlice becomes wonderful jungle warfare. I could even try coming up with some sorta special head lice that is able to kill like the SARS virus. Cool.
My bunkmates are all calling up their girls now. In order not to let my bunkmates find out that I'm girl-less (I'm seriously detested by girls), I rang up my mum and pretended to be lovey-dovey (calling her by her first name instead of 'mummy') for almost an hour. Sad case I know.
I sent Smses to my own phone at a gonzales rate. Thus, my bunkmates were envious when they heard my phone beeping like crazy.
Before I head to bed, I would like to take this opportunity here to apologise to Stephanie and Jamie for all the bad things I've done to them for the past 20 years. Sorry Stephanie and Jamie. You two are the most BEAUTIFUL, SLIM, HOT, SWEET, NICE, (INSERT EVERYTHING NICE AND GOOD HERE) girls I've ever met. I promise to intro many wonderful bunkmates to you when I come out.
But again, you sure you want these botak men? They are smelly.
I've taken a queue number from both of you and would promise to wait till you girls are old and dying before marrying you girls to fulfill your last wishes.
I better head to bed before the Sir points a rifle at my head and sends me off to FLLL (Forever La La Land).
Good night,
RAYNER THE WORLD'S MOST BASTARDEST PERSON.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 10:53 PM
-cries- I will miss everybodyyyyy.. -cries even louder-
JAH.
I'm leaving in like 7 and 1/2 hours time. Gone for good. I apologise for causing any harm or damage to any homosapien in the past. I apologise.
-kowtows 103 times-
I'm going to sleep early because I might faint halfway during camp tomorrow. And let me tell you an interesting fact. I'll update you of my camp life almost every single day. I can even take pictures and videos and show them to you!
I managed to sneak in my camera phone!
Nope, I didn't sneak it in. I am actually having an affair with my superior.
Good night people.
RAYNER
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:28 AM
Nightmare la!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I had a pretty bad nightmare! Well I dreamt of a girl which I had made friends with on friendster. She added me and we met up not long after. Then upon our first date she confessed she loves me. I'm like wtf, you gotta be shitting my ass. Okay and so I did not reciprocate her feelings and when it's time to part she simply does not want to leave me. So fine when I reached home I see her following me back all the way to my block. Some scary shit eh? Yes you bet and I'm really at loss at what to do. She follows me everywhere I go and I simply can't get her off my back. After a while I got up from my nightmare and wanted to go take a leak. But I remembered about the "girl" and think twice before getting up. I'm so fucking scared that she's literally beside me on my bed and might say "I love you". Oh damn it and yes I didn't pee that night, I controlled it till the sun is up. Must be the horror stories Jamie girl was telling me before I slept. Stupid shit!
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 1:46 AM
You matter
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
"Everytime I think back of the things we spoke of or the early days we just met, it brings a smile to me. Defintely some happy moments we had, how long it'll last I dont know. Well 2006 has pass and it has been quite a good year for me. It could be because I made new friends, learn new stuff or take life a little too easily. Nevertheless it's you that played a big part in making it all so beautiful. A very big thank you and happy new year to you, though 2006 is over, I am still here by you side wanting to say these 3 words to you, You are beautiful."
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:39 AM
hello.
Monday, June 11, 2007
My first entry.
Firstly, Rayner's username is so predictable, it's so easy to hack. The password follows the same logic, of course.
I thought I'll post something nice about him, maybe just one point alright?
1. He's a sexist, a well known fact.
I think that point is nice enough, what do you think, Rayner Zhang?
Labels: guest apperance
posted by Stephanie who killed a lamb again at 1:06 AM
My lovely sun and you
Work work work! That's what I have been doing for the last 6 days on an average of 12-15 hours per day. Why the heck am I working so hard when I'm enlisting in next week eh. And the sun isn't helping me either. I got 3rd degree burns la. Why? Well cause I'm in the sun for 9-6 for 3 days in a row. So it's sunburn overlap the sunburn overlap the sunburn, get it? Heh."U're loved by jamie not because u're valuable.. Instead u're valuable because u're loved by jamie. Ha!" Ok la that one sms is retarded enough to bring a smile to my face for a while. And my thighs look like roasted pork now. Bloody hell.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:45 AM
My favourite 3
Monday, June 04, 2007
To my favourite 3, I'll leave something for you just before I leave. Call me a sexist, too bad. Ha!
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:59 PM
The newspaper woman
Sunday, June 03, 2007
The door bell rang and I went to see who it is. Oh it's the newspaper woman here to collect the monthly fees. No one is home so I went and check my wallet and I have only 10 dollars. So here I am blogging while my door bell is ringing, too bad.
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:59 PM
Im back!
Friday, June 01, 2007
I'm back baby! I learnt something on this trip which is never ever to go shopping with 10 women. Hell 1 is fine but 10?! Seriously it is a pain. Why? Ok here's the mathematical theory.1 Women stops for 10mins and the other 9 wait for her. You rotate each woman to stop at a shop at least once you get 10 times 9 = 90mins! All 10 women likes the shop and enters the same shop! = GG (GOOD GAME) They'll try try try and try till the goods cannot be tried anymore I swear. And I waited for 1 hr 45mins sitting down watching them "try".But those 10 women are my mom's colleague and I must say they're pretty humourous. There's one I must mention which I call her the 3K. Kiasi, kiasu and kia lang!Then there's one who is super cute! She's like in her 50's already but her character and the way she walks is so much cuter than some of the girls I know. Plus she got a double chin! Yay.By the way some of the singapore stewardess are really pretty but some are really cut and paste out of the recycle bin! But still they're trained to be damn friendly eh! Okay so by now I'm pretty much a woman's man following them to shopping and what not. So recently I was at Forever21 with my friend to get a dress. I see females, females and more females! But I'm pretty much fine with it since I have more to look at! HAHA. And so my friend when on to find her dress while I follow her like some retarded boyfriend who gets hen-pecked all the time. Finally she got her dress and queued up for a changing room. Later, she realised she wanted to try another dress but didn't wanna give up the queue for the changing room. So brilliant her told me to queue for her instead with her dress over my shoulders and her bag in my hands! Wah! But it's okay I ain't complaining, must tell you people how nice I am to girls what! HAHA. Then again, it's not what you're shopping for but rather who you're shopping with. That's always the case isn't it?
posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 10:50 AM
