It's funny how we onced used to be so close and now some what like strangers.
I still see you everyday but the bond just isn't there anymore.
It isn't time or distance that seperate us. So what is it?

The other day when I wanted my file back from you, you went to buy a new file. Later you asked me if I wanted the new one or old one, I said "anything".
To my surprise you let me have the new one instead. That I thank you.

I really don't know what I can do to bring the both of us back together. Maybe it's me that neglected you. I admit I'm an asshole at times, that I'm really sorry. But still I really hope to know how you are doing and stuff. Your O'levels is coming, I hope you'll take it seriously and do your best. I want to see you making it through and enjoy life later on.

Lastly, no matter what happens I'll be that someone you can rely on. Be it financially or just a listening ear. I love you sean and I'm proud of you. You're my brother.

And I hope you get to see this. =)

Good asshole
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Good guys don't last and nice guys finish last.
Just be an asshole, enjoy and move on.
Still, I'd rather not last and finish last.


The things we once talked about all seemd so true now.
You come you go, how long you'll last I don't know.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:39 PM

Flashing my middle
Saturday, October 21, 2006

This occured a couple of nights back.

Was waiting for bus 66 with me n my friends. 20-30 mins passed and we're wondering what the heck, why isn't the bus still here? Later one of us when to checked the last bus, it was at 11. And the time now was already 1130.
So fine, We took another bus instead.

Got down from the bus, then I was crossing the road. Saw an incoming cab at the first half of the junction. I quickly walked towards the middle of the road. Saw another red car coming but at a really slow rate. So I just walked across the road normally.

The wise man turned on his high beam and horned at me. Somehow I felt that was the last straw for me. I turned around and flashed him my middle finger.
He saw it and he seemed to say "If you're not happy, come to me."
I was too tired and lazy to approach, so I flashed him my middle a second time and walked away.

I'm glad I walked away. (Cause I was kinda hungry and was tempted to eat up his tire.)
Still I'm not exactly in the right either. Sorry to the one who received my finger. =)

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 1:37 PM

When all goes high
Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I think these are some of the quotes I kept saying while I was in my own world.

"Where's the wasabi to go with my prata?"
"Uncle my green tea from Japan or Singapore?"
"The toilet cannot flush and why is there one big dustbin in the toilet? What the fuck is it for?"
"You masturbate and cry at the same time right!"
"Hey you come try my duck curry."
"Oh fuck u shut up."

I even offered to help my friend tear his prata. I told him I'll put the prata in between my armpit and pulled it out piece by piece!
It's quite crazy. Everything just seem to pour out. There's no restriction to what I could say, I was in my own free world. Whatever appeared in my mind just came out through my mouth the very next second. It's quite a nice feeling actually.

But not so nice anymore when you hear one duck quacking all night long, sometimes two. HAHA. I should have take the prata together with my DUCK curry and stuff it in your mouth.
But then again, I promised to be nice as I have always been. =)

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 1:17 PM

Just for laugh
Monday, October 16, 2006

I came across this in my email and I want to share it with you people.

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy...?!"
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus .. so shut up!

I think most of you get it right? If you don't I'll try to personally demonstrate what the old man meant. HAHA.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:41 PM

He got sucked
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The little things she does just made him draw closer to her. He doesn't want that. He hates being sucked in like a blackhole. He wants to breath, he wants to get out.
He tells himself it's not going to happen.
Her actions just seemed to strong for him to control his mind.
Images of her just ravages through his mind like a sand storm in the desert.
He desperately tries to set himself free, apparently it's failing miserably.
Or maybe he should just get sucked in. Get trapped and never get out.
Who knows it isn't as bad as what it may seem to be.
Maybe he should.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 2:02 AM

To the woman I love most.
Sunday, October 08, 2006

Came back home from gym. I don't smell very good of course.
I knew it was mummy birthday today, just that I had not wish her yet. I tried to scare her by pretending I had forgotten her birthday today.

Me: Mummy ah, I'm going dinner with my friends later.

Mum: AH?! You're not joining us for dinner?

- Walked towards mummy -

Me: Mummy stand up.

She stood up and we gave one another the tightest hug ever. Later I gave her a kiss on her left cheek.

Me: Mummy "I love you" Happy birthday! Did I scare you earlier by acting to forget your birthday?

Mum: - She smiled -

After hugging her I felt like crying, I don't know why.
I gave mummy a HAIRBAND and a card.
Wrote some emotional stuff on the card and what not.

Later that night mummy says I can write well.
And they teased me that it must be the many love letters I had written before.
Hiaks hiaks.

Further update:

Later she smsed me saying "hey help me kiss your mum."
Ok I did just that. Went into the room and kiss her on the right cheek this time.

Me: Mummy that was from my friend. She wished you happy birthday and asked me to kiss you too.

Mum: Thank you. Who's your friend? Why so many of your friends know my birthday one?

Me: Haha err. I don't know? By the way mummy she's
called _ _ _ _ _ _. But you can call her _ _ _ _ _ _.

Well I guess you kinda surprised me a little. You're my first friend that asked me to do that. Still, thank you. I know you love me!
(I bet the word "asshole" just came out of your mouth.)

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:41 PM

Had nevers
Thursday, October 05, 2006

Had never sat on a plane. (Why!?)

Had never sat on a train. (Not those MRT, but rather those choo choo trains.)

Had never been overseas except malaysia. (Pathetic.)

Had never rollerblade. (Big feet is not a problem right?)

Had never been to escape theme park. (What can I say lah.)

Had never been punch on the face. (Well cause I'm nice? HAHA.)

Had never punch anyone before. (Well cause I'm really nice. Hiaks.)

Had never been to a sushi restaurant. (No one asked me.)

Had never carried a baby. (I would love to do that.)

But still, I'm satisfied with what I have.


I dug my nose yesterday. Was wondering why this stubborn shit just refused to come out, but I persevered and continued digging. I told myself "Rayner you're almost there!"

Finally, it came out along with 2-3 strands of nose hair. FREAKING PAIN LAH.
Then I thought of coming up with a nose digging device. So it can bloody vacuum all the shit in there and doesnt require any pain at all.

Later you reminded me that I could send it for the 'Tan Kah Kee' award. Maybe I really should.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:44 PM

Weirdest dream ever
Monday, October 02, 2006

I HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM EVER!

I dreamt of you, yes you! Though I know you for like last than a month or so, it's you!

Yes and sadly in my dream, you passed away. I was freaking sad.
But somehow god let us communicate one last time when you pass away and it was through msn.

I was getting all so emtional on msn, telling you all the things that I never had the chance to.

I told you I wanted to give you herbal tea but you asked how?
I said
"I'll burn it for you and see if you'll recieve it at the other end."
"If it manage to get through, I'll burn whatever you want."

The last conversation we had was putting me to tears. And I remembered clearly the msn conversation we had got spectators in it too. They could all see our conversation going on. (As If we're some kinda celebrity couple.)

Gosh Im starting to forget some parts of the dream already.
The last thing you said when you were leaving for the other world was "Goodbye and see you in the foreign land!"

After I dreamt of it, I immediately smsed you and quickly woke up to blog! (Cause if I wake up later, I'll probably forget everything!)

This dream actually made me realise something. Its "letting those you love know how much you love and appreciate them."

Frankly speaking not many people do that anymore, its like "you know I love you and that's it, I don't bother saying or expressing it."

So come on people, let's take time off letting those we care know how much we really love them. Especially our parents, they're always standing by you since the day you came into this world.


If this were to be a reality what would your last msn conversation be? Hiaks.

TO THE ONE WHICH I DREAMT OF: Hey ass, I also said this in my dream on our msn conversation we had. I actually said "I love you." HAHAHAHAHA! You better be honoured its actually you lah!

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:57 AM