It's crazy. Well, not for us but for you.
You were some sort of a drunkard ballerina.

You could not stand.
Your body went numb.
The words 'Oh yeah I'm drunk' were repeated for a while.
You keep spilling your alcohol on the poor girl beside you.
You puke out some thick sticky liquid out for a moment then later it was air.

Finally, you were down flat like a helpless child and the 'nannies' were all there to take care of you.

The events you missed while you were in your own world counting the stars and sheeps:

I tried poking your dimple, wanting to see how far my finger could go in.
We used plastic bag for ur vomitting sessions, when we got tired we tried to hang the plastic bag from your ears.
I carried you, but unknowingly your that 'thing' was exposed lah, that I am truly sorry.
Jackets and pillows were used to cover your 'thing' later on.
You said you are 49, for a moment I thought you were referring to your age then later I realised it was your weight!
You puked in a poor fella's car.
And lastly, you really looked beautiful that night. The only thing that could be improved was wearing the kind of hairband I like, which is the thinner ones. Hiaks.



* I don't wanna fall again. Its like your mind and heart are telling you 2 different things. One says go, the other says no. Basket.

The simple things
Monday, September 25, 2006

As we grow older through the years, things get more and more complicated. Sometimes we forget who we really are or the values we once had.

The simple things in life somewhat keeps us going. The little things we do, simple it maybe but the sentimental value is way beyond our expectations.

Recently, I went to east coast park with my family.
It was a night walk and It was really enjoyable. It's been ages since we last done that and Im glad we're still able to do it as a whole.

Come to think of it, how many families out there actually does that?
Walking past the salty water, with the air blowing against our faces and exchanging conversations openly.

My brother was talking about how he was not able to rollerblade.

Dad: Aiyah, last time when I was young every sports also I can play.

Me: Yah, you know how to play so many sports but good at none. (What an ass I am.)

Mum: - Laughs -

Dad: (Tried to respond, but couldn't think of a good one.)

Well that was memorable, it really was. I guess that's what they call familing bonding eh? And I believe it will not be the last.

* Could I ever match up to your living legacy? The achievements you made is greater than I imagined. I want to be like you.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:52 PM

The typicality
Friday, September 22, 2006

For the sake of education, we wake up at 8 for lessons everyday and it ends about 5.
What are we studying so hard for? For the piece of paper that will eventually land us in some job? It may not even be the job we want.

For the sake of money, we wake up at 7 for work everyday and it ends about 6.
Why are we working so hard for? Our family, the household, the cars, the ever increasing expenditure?

I seriously would not want to end up like the typical singaporean having to wake up at 7 for work everyday. And hoping 6 O'clock would quickly arrive, pack my things up and head home for dinner. After dinner it'll be television then bed time.
The hours seem so little left, the joy we once had seemed to fade away and the freedom we once had seemed so restricted now.

I read a book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
It's very logical and makes a hell alot of sense regarding money.

School teaches us how to be a good employee and make us work for money.
But what they don't teach us is how to make money work for us.

"MAKE US WORK FOR MONEY."
That's what make 90 percent of us out there the typical singaporean.

"MAKE MONEY WORK FOR US."
That's what make the rich and powerful.

Money is what makes the world go round mad.

I want something more than just the default route. I want to walk away from the traditions, start something of my own and keep it my own.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 12:46 PM

Words
Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Yes words, they can either make you or simply break you.

It's a every day thing we speak with our own languages. The words we used in our conversations, expressions, hatred, love.

Somehow words are somewhat capable of being the healing mechanism OR a leathal weapon.

There are times whereby the simple choice of words is enough. Enough to heal or to hurt.

It feels good doesnt it when you know your "words" made someone's day.
YES, that maybe true. Cause usually you know it when the fella says "Thank you, you just made my day." and stuff.

But there are also times whereby your "words" actually cause much pain.
YES, you may think nothing of it, but to the other party it would be a spear into his heart.

It's not a good feeling at all. Those laser sharp words keep floating around in your mind like a ballon. Just that it doesn't burst at all, no matter how hard you try.

I feel that no matter what it maybe, a friendship, relationship, what ever damn ship it is, we should not keep "it" buried inside us for long.

Just like mommy says, the longer you keep it buried the more it'll accumulate. Till one day when you can't take it no more, you let it all out and "BOOM".
Something happens and it's all too late to change.



I learnt something a while back. It's called complimenting others. Why be thrifty when it comes to complimenting others? Cause you think it's weird? You're shy? Or you think its meaningless?

Well to those of you out here who thinks that way, its time for a change.
When you compliment someone, make sure it comse from the bottom of your heart. That someone can sense it and boy the feeling is sweet.
Compliment others wisely and you'll see what I mean.

By the way, complimenting and boot licking is a two very different thing!
I so hate boot lickers, hate you.



* I had the most disgusting dream ever.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 11:29 PM

Guess guess guess
Sunday, September 17, 2006

Okay I came up with this myself.
A riddle, I think should be pretty easy to crack.

It's only a matter of you wanting or not.
In my opinion, usually the one who gives it will LIKE it. To others, it will make them irritated.

When there's a large crowd, the chances of you giving is so much higher compared to a small crowd.

It comes in quality or quantity. You can either give it in one big package, or in bits and bits.

And lastly, (THE BIGGEST CLUE OF ALL)
I like to go "Ahhhhhh" after giving it out.



















Answer:
The _ _ _ _

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 6:11 PM

The lunch date
Thursday, September 14, 2006

Okay I was suppose to have lunch with my aunty Jennifer today. I assume It was just the 2 of us. To my surprise It wasn't.

I met her and she had 2 of her china students with her.
We shall name them "Red" and "White". Reason being one got a red face the other a white face. HAHA.

The conversations below were all in chinese, reason being the china students weren't too good with their English language.

Jen to Red: This is my nephew. He's tall, strong and handsome like what I told you right?

Red: Yes he's handsome. (Seriously, I think she kinda forced that out.)

In my mind, Im thinking "What the fishball?" Isn't this suppose to be a casual lunch with me and Jennifer, why is she match making me instead? HAH.

Me: Err, Hi. (I blushed.)

- Not long later while we're on the streets. -

Red to Jen: I see "Boy A" I get angry, I see your nephew Im happy.

Later Jennifer explained to me and "Boy A" Is the fella that happened to like Red

Me: (Blushes even more?)

- While we're having lunch -

Red to Jen: Can we take photo together?

Jen to Red: You ask my nephew yourself.

Me: Err, we'll take the next time when I look better. (Wonder If I'll keep my word eh? Hiaks.)

After lunch they went back and I headed off for gym. I took the train and I received an sms from Jennifer.

It went:
"There is 1 boy 15yr old. He jealous cos the gals say u r better looking than him. He wanna meet you next time round."

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Priceless.)

PS: When I bought food earlier today, I even forgot to pay lah. (Maybe cause my head too big) Rofl, and I only remembered when I bought my drinks. Being the "SUPER DUPER WHOOPER NICE" Rayner we all know, I paid the lady what I owe her.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:32 PM

We love camp
Monday, September 11, 2006

WE LOVE CAMP.
Yes, we really do. It might be a 3 day 2 night thing, to us it was happiness.

Memorable:

Imagine you're sleeping, someone comes over pulled the rubber band and shoot it at your nipple. Ouch. (Steamed for a while, HAHA.)

Take a 30kg long pole, and race it with your friend. While trying to catch up with him, stick it into his ass. (We all love that! Hiaks.)

Having a sweet and patient girl to teach you mass dance! (Aww, thank you Jiao Suan.)

You get a chance to disturb ANY girl you want when they're blind folded. You can touch their eyes, pat their head, SMACK their head. (Heh, sorry wendy.)

I think I took up more space than I should when sleeping, and not forgetting the live band that's coming out from me. (Sorry room mates?)

You get to laugh so hard with people you hardly knew. (Fantastic feeling.)

Nicknames are such a wonderful thing. Tomato and president, ah both given by me. (When soccer?)

You get to see your dancing partner doing a pole dance. It was good shit, the guys loved it! (Jiao Suan, dance for us sometime soon.)

You get down and wet covered in flour together with mango syrup accompanied with shit load of grass, AND loving it. (Poweeeeeeeer.)

Imagine someone calls you while you are cleaning your backside. One hand with tissue, the other with the phone. "Wait ah, gime 2 mins." HAHAHA. (Thank you zihui, nearly left that out. AND thanks for the shampoo too!)

Not forgetting the tons of friends I made. Seriously I'm feeling nostalgic already.

Well, a big thank you to all of you guys!

Okay now a few words for all of you.

Jonthan: Okay I bet you're glad we both went for this camp. And I'm so gona get your left nipple in our next camp.
Winson,: Finally I saw a not-so-shy side of you. If you don't have mommy now, you'll defintely go for "your kind of girl" Haha.
Hanwei: Ah I finally get to speak to you more. You're nice and helpful, and I realised your leg super hairy lah!
Zihui: Hey brat. Well, it's really great having you around. You are so-very-fun-nice-and-shiok to tease!
Carolina: I think you're the one I had a heart to heart talk with. It was a pleasant one, I hope you'll take up hockey soon man.
Gino: I finally get to know you. Heh, you can talk alot and you're one crazy freak.
Wee Siang: Thank god you're not called Wei Xiang. Okay so now when is the soccer coming up!? You're da president!
Augustine: Oh my favorite red headed tomato! Haha, seriously I love your nickname. And it was great laughing with you.
Eric: I think you're a really really nice fella. You buy us drinks and we don't even have the chance to pay you back! Hey thank you! And whoever is your gf will be a lucky one.
Poh Suan: Seriously, you should be a guy. You talk so much cock that I cannot digest all at once. Thanks for dancing with me, was my honour. Btw, I really really like your smile.
Edwina: Hey gorgeous! The more I look at you, the more I think you're nice to look at. Hiaks, you sing well by the way.
Sabrina: Princess, you look like one and act like one. You are indeed a princess.
Teow hwee: Err, don't steal my dancing partner!? HAHA, thank you for everything.
Huiwen: I hardly spoke to you, but I know you're there. Well, you're taller than zihui I think? Which is a good thing! HAHAHAHA.
Gerrard: Ah brother. You're super friendly and you bet I was more than glad to help you carry those ugly speakers.
Baofa: Hardly even exchanged a word with you, but I heard you complaining about the "AS" peeps. Did you send a group to AS and get back at them?
Jason GAY: You can really get the crowd going. And it's sweet of you to have written a card for all of us. You're nice.


* I saw something, however LOUD you are. I guess there's still a shy side in each and everyone of us. I saw that and it really did surprise me.

* It's over but somehow my ego just wouldn't let me go.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 9:40 PM

Don't cry cause its over
Thursday, September 07, 2006

To you who had just left me. I believe you'll find your enternal happiness out there. When I saw your photo, you had long lobbed ears and beautiful cheeks. You must be somehwat a mesmerizing lady when you were in your younger days. Well now the time has come, Im glad I saw you off to your final destination and I would like you to know that without you there isn't me.

I felt something that day. I thought to myself in life we may lose valuable friendships, get ditch by someone you love, get rejected by the one you like OR in any way losing that special someone.

BUT,
Has it occured to you that you guys are still breathing the very same air?
Waking up in the morning and feel the same warmth the sun gives?
Looking up into the night knowing you both can see the stars?

It somehow doesn't feel that right anymore.
We all feel hurt when we break up in relationships and stuff like that. Who doesn't?
But the thing is, we still know that someone is still out there breathing the same air as us.

Try thinking of someone who happens not to breath the same air as you anymore, someone who's only alive in your memories.

It's pain I know. But remember "Don't cry cause its over, smile cause it happened."

PS: Im not that great in philosophy stuff, I admist I copied that phrase from someone out there. Heh.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 5:11 PM

Not nice, not too bad, nice
Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Life itself is very contradicting don't you think?

The first time you see it you go "Thats awful!"
The next time you look at it again, "It's actually not too bad eh?"
And after few more glances you tell yourself, "Its quite nice actually."

OR

The first time you see it you go "Wow beautiful!"
The next time you look at it again, "Okay, not as good as the first time."
After few more glances you tell yourself, "I guess its not that nice after all."

Look hard enough and you'll see things beyond your imagination.



* It's getting easier each day. Obstacles keep coming, but I'll eat it and let it out through my hole.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 4:24 PM

Tick Tock
Monday, September 04, 2006

TIME.
It's ticking and ticking.

You may know someone for 10 years. Yet you only know 10 things about the person.
You may know someone for 10 weeks. Yet you know a zillion things about the person.

Throughout 10 years, I am only so willing to offer you this much.
Throughout 10 weeks, I am willing to offer you my everything.

Throughout 10 years, we can only talk about "certain" things.
Throughout 10 weeks, we talk about everything.

Throughout 10 years, we had to force ourselves to come up with topics to talk about.
Throughout 10 weeks, the topics just fall into place naturally.

I guess that's what we call chemistry.

AND LASTLY,

Throughout 2 years, we are just merely "hi and bye" friend.
Suddenly, its "hi, please don't leave me" friend.

It takes 2 hand to clap.
So should there come a day when you lose the other hand, clap with your foot.

posted by Rayner who killed a lamb again at 8:17 PM